9 Things He'd Like Him To Know
by atomish
Summary: When you've been with a person for a really long time, some things you just can't tell him. These are 9 things Matt really wished he could tell Mello but don't have to guts to say. A companion fic to the other 9 Things. Same warnings as the other.


Okay, so, I _am_ a _tiny bit_ depressed 'cause nobody reviewed my other story I posted up yesterday (_Sky Eyes Boy_). And I really liked that story too...But never mind that. So today, I decided to post up the companion fic to _9 Things He'd Like To Say _to make me feel better. This is Matt's version. So here it is, and I do like reviews as much as the next person.

**Discliamer: And I just realised that I have forgotten to put a disclaimer on my other story OTZ. So let this be an infinte disclaimer for all my other stories if I forget. I DO NOT OWN ANY THING OR CHARACTER THAT SOUNDS REMOTELY FAMILIAR. Thanks!**

**9 Things He'd Like Him To Know But Don't Have the Guts To Tell Him**

_A Death Note Story by atomiclint_

**'I swear, you've got like, freakin' multiple personality disorder or something…'**

Sometimes, Mello is in a good mood; other times he's not. And when he's not, he's really, _really_ not. During those periods, Matt keeps to himself. Mostly. While he's on the couch playing Tetris (because it's totally retro like that) and trying to ignore the thumps that he rather not know the origins of, he usually finds a hand grabbing at him and dragging him into the bedroom. He can't even _think_ about his unsaved game because Mello is already kissing him ever so softly.

'**You're more of a kid than I am.'**

When Mello's angry, he throws fits. Said fits usually end up getting out of hand and Matt covered in bruises. Because even if video games are childish, being a spoiled brat is worse. But Matt doesn't mind spoiling Mello because Mello spoils Matt more.

'**Do you really believe in God?'**

That was what was always on his mind when he catches sight of that rosary around Mello's neck or when he sees Mello with his eyes closed, his lips moving soundlessly in prayer. Sometimes it scares him that Mello really believes that there's something good for them even _if_ they're both guys and are in love. But then he realises that he's even _more_ scared of the prospect of never seeing Mello again after he dies. Because even if it might be a lie, it was a nice lie and he wasn't going to ruin that for Mello who needs it most.

'**Why do you like chocolate so much?'**

Matt did not like sweets. He wasn't particularly fond of the taste staying in his mouth well after the condiment had disappeared. It made him miss it too much. Mello's mouth always tasted like chocolate. Like other sweets, it left a tangy aftertaste in Matt's mouth, making him crave for more. But with Mello, his craving is always satisfied.

'**Are you a sadistic bastard or what?'**

Because that question flies right out of his mind when Mello bites down particularly hard and even _Matt_ couldn't help but wince. And even when his face contorts up in pain, he couldn't help but think '_Gods this feels so good_' because as much of a sadistic bastard Mello is, Matt will always be his masochistic boyfriend.

'**I'm **_**not**_** addicted!'**

Matt has a very addictive personality. You could easily tell in his video games and most prominently, in his smoking. One addiction of Matt's is less noticeable but much more refined than his others. He's indefinitely hooked on to Mello. And no nicotine patches were going to get rid of _that_.

'**Are you an angel?'**

Because asking that would just be suicide and Matt wasn't ready to die just yet. Especially not with the delicious blonde swinging his hips in front of him. But despite all that, Matt still couldn't help but think Mello was an angel because that's how he imagined angels to look: blonde hair falling over pale shoulders, crystal blue eyes blinking. But as soon as Matt is slammed onto the bed by said 'angel', his question is instantly answered.

'**Don't forget me, 'kay?'**

Matt is afraid that Mello will someday leave him. But Matt is more afraid that Mello will _forget_ him. Mello was truthfully the only one who _knew_ Matt like he knew himself. So when Mello leaves when he's fourteen, Matt could only hope that he was still on Mello's mind. But when he gets called up when he's seventeen, he instantly knew that Mello couldn't, wouldn't and never will forget him.

'**Marry me?'**

Every single time Matt walked the short distance from the corner store, where they sold chocolate and cigarettes, and their shared apartment, he passed by a jewellery shop. It wasn't anything special and Matt wouldn't have stopped every time if not for a pair of plain silver bands in the display case. He supposed he found comfort in the fact that there _were_ rings out there for both of them. And when one day, they disappeared, Matt couldn't help but feel jealous at the lucky couple. So that's why he couldn't believe it when he walked through the door and one of those same silver bands were slipped on his finger by his favourite blonde, whom he had always knew was a lot more efficient than he was.

'**I love you,'**

Matt has never been in love before. He has never met a girl or boy who made his heart flutter or made his stomach feel knotted. So he doesn't know what love feels like. All he knows is that _Mello_ made him scream for more and made all the bruises lining his body. Matt isn't sure if that's love but when Mello kisses him sweetly on the cheek after their heart rates have gone down, Matt _knew_ that he's finally in love so he says the most obvious thing: 'I love you.'

**Enjoyed? Review? Read my other stories? (I know, that's a bit over the line...)**


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